Does Bitterness Rule Your Heart?

“I’ve had a few arguments with people,” comedian Buddy Hackett once confessed, “but I never carry a grudge. You know why? While you’re carrying a grudge, they’re out dancing!”

Are you carrying bitterness around in your heart? Bitterness is resentful cynicism that results in an intense hostility towards others. The Bible tells us to “get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” (Ephesians 4:31) How? This is accomplished by being “kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

You see, bitterness is the most dangerous of all attitudes to healthy Christian living! If not checked, it will eat away the vitality of your spiritual life until your testimony is in shambles. Think of bitterness as a cancer of the soul, claiming millions of victims each year. It spreads faster than the common cold and, if left to its own devices, will destroy families and churches.

The problem with bitterness is that you can’t hide it, nor contain it! It spreads like a plague until it affects everyone around you. Some of you may be so bitter that you can’t talk about your husband or wife, parents or children, friends or relatives, pastor or church without expressing bitterness about how much they’ve hurt you. The reality is that life is full of hurts! Jesus himself warned, “it is impossible but that offences will come:” (Luke 17:1). Life is full of hurts and it always will be!

As long as you live, people are going to hurt you, offend you and disappoint you. But you don’t need to be the victim of their offenses. You can learn to rise above life’s disappointments. A good place to start is Ephesians 4:25-32. Here, the Apostle Paul gives us several keys to overcoming bitterness. Let’s take a look, shall we?

1) Stop lying and start telling the truth (Ephesians 4:25). Honest communication depends on honest conversation. Telling the truth builds bridges; lying builds barriers.

2) Stop hating and start loving (Ephesians 4:26-27). In this passage we are warned not to stay angry, because anger destroys communication. Anger will lead either to aggressive or depressive behavior. It causes us to strike out at others or to put ourselves down. Either way, its destructive force hurts us and those whom we are angry.

3) Stop stealing and start giving (Ephesians 4:28). Stealers are takers and selfish by nature! In personal relationships ask yourself, “Am I a giver or a taker?” Givers tend to see the worth and importance of other people and therefore are apt to bring out the best in others. Takers, on the other hand tend to see the world solely from their own standpoint.

4) Stop cutting people down and start building up (Ephesians 4:29-30). Some people excel at cutting down everything and everybody! This passage warns that such negative communication grieves the Spirit of God.

5) Stop overreacting and start acting like a Christian (Ephesians 4:31-32). Paul reminds us not to handle our problems like pagans. Don’t blow up, it only makes things worse! We start with bitterness, which soon leads to wrath and anger. This in turn leads to yelling at each other, which takes us on to evil speaking, blasphemy, or slander. And finally, we are led to malice which can result in a deliberate attempt to do bodily injury! Such behavior is not of God. It is a worldly response to problems, not a Christian response.

6) Stop retaliating and start forgiving (Ephesians 4:32). True Christians are know by their forgiving spirit. (Luke 17:5) Selfish and insecure people get angry quickly. They can never figure out why God’s world does not revolve around them and their plans, therefore they suppose that God doesn’t really care for them. In order to learn to forgive others effectively, we must ultimately see ourselves for what we really are...unprofitable servants, yet unconditionally loved by God. Only then are we in a proper position for God to work in our lives. Remember...forgiveness is the key!

Why not release the power of God in your life today! The scripture clearly states that wrong attitudes grieve the Holy Spirit and hamper work in our lives. We must put away all wrong feelings that stem from bitterness. We must learn to forgive others just as completely and totally as God has forgiven us. If you don’t know Him as your Savior, you can come to Him right now. If you do know Christ as your Savior, but you have let hurt turn to bitterness, ask God to forgive you and set you free!

Scripture: Numbers 14:19-21; Proverbs 20:22; Micah 7:18-19; Matthew 5:24; Matthew 5:44-45; Acts 10:43; Colossians 3:13; 1 John 1:9-10

Prayer:

Lord, grant me the strength to forgive others, and to excuse their transgressions against me, so I may truly reflect this spiritual fruit; to obliterate any persistent feelings of malice, to let each trespass end as a closing chapter, to continue on the road of righteousness, and forgive my sins as I aspire to forgive others. Amen

Peace be with you,

Heather