Is Your Life Focused Only On You?

From an unknown source comes an article titled, "How To Be Miserable." It says, "Think about yourself. Talk about yourself. Use "I" as often as possible. Mirror yourself continually in the opinion of others. Listen greedily to what people say about you. Expect to be appreciated. Be suspicious. Be jealous and envious. Be sensitive to slights. Never forgive a criticism. Trust nobody but yourself. Insist on consideration and respect.

Demand agreement with your own views on everything. Sulk if people are not grateful to you for favors shown them. Never forget a service you have rendered. Shirk your duties if you can. Do as little as possible for others."   -Daily Walk, June 29, 1993.

Let's begin with the definition of self-centered: preoccupied with oneself and one's affairs; selfish. I tend to believe that self-centeredness is an attitude of the heart, or a heart issue.  This essentially makes one’s own comfort, needs, and status, the priority over God and other people. I know that we all struggle with the problem of self-centeredness and selfishness. And, this particular heart issue grows ever more destructive the longer that it's left unchecked.

As self-centeredness takes hold of us, it damages our relationships with family, friends, and co-workers. This issue that starts to develop within the heart soon grows to be something that has very real effects (spiritual, emotional, physical, and relational) on our lives. Unfortunately, self-centered or “Me first” thinking and living is the strategy of choice for our world and our culture.

When we are self-centered, life is focused on ourselves. We are proud, both of ourselves and our own accomplishments. We have confidence in ourselves, depending only on ourselves and our own abilities, while seeking acceptance from the world and its selfish ways.

The sad part of this is that when we get to the point of caring for nothing but ourselves, others inevitably suffer. The reason for this is because the world is “put together” in such a way that society and personal relationships “work” only when human beings act like human beings – outward-oriented personal beings who serve the needs of others (Genesis 1:27; 1 John 4:7-11; Acts 20:35).

Thus, when human beings deny their basic nature, turn inward, and act with primary regard to the fulfillment of their own desires, the fabric of society begins to tear apart. We can see this happening in many ways all around us today. When we become preoccupied with ourselves, we quit serving the needs of others and begin to diminish the foundation on which our self-respect is built.

I find it quite ironic that the person who is obsessed with “finding himself” and “liking himself” is the very person who is going to do the fewest of the things that would truly make it possible for him to like himself.

Is is possible to change our self-centeredness? I certainly don't claim to have all the answers, however, I can offer some suggestions. One can begin by getting interested in other people. Try cultivating some friendships. You need other people to give you balance in the society so that you're not so self-centered. Make time for relationships for your own psychological health, and for your own spiritual health.

Try giving yourself away through some kind of service where you voluntarily give yourself away without receiving any personal benefit in return. This could be hospital visitation, community volunteer, any of the ministries in your church, etc.

Make an attempt to practice self-denial (Philippians 2:4). Everyday you need to find at least one opportunity (at least one) where you can: choose to do the thing of conviction, rather than the thing of convenience; choose to do the right thing, rather than doing the easy thing. Everyday you need to find something where you can help others, rather than just helping yourself.

In closing, perhaps the most fundamental challenge of life, the biggest battle you will ever face, is to overcome self-centeredness. Jesus said, "For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it." (Mark 8:35) You won't find fulfillment in pursuing simply self- interest. Jesus said this is the only legitimate way to live.

Scripture: 2 Timothy 3:1; Proverbs 18:1; Psalm 10:4; Psalm 36:2; James 3:16

Prayer: O God, our gracious Heavenly Father, help us to rise out of our attitude of self-centeredness, out of our egotism. Help us to rise to the point of having faith in Thee and realizing that we are dependent on Thee. And when we realize this, O God, we will live life with a new meaning and with a new understanding and with a new integration. We ask Thee to grant all of these blessings in the name and spirit of Jesus. Amen.
-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

May God bless you always!

Amy Lynn