Love Others with a Heartfelt Love

Bishop Thoburn was one of the world's greatest missionaries, and served over fifty years in India and the Far East. But the world does not know so well that his brother stayed at home and worked and saved to send him through school, and to get him ready for his life work.

That brother, like Peter's brother Andrew, did not become famous. He stayed back on the farm and made his brother famous, as Andrew helped Peter, who became the great leader. If they could not do great things, they could help others close to them to do them.
-Pilgrim Sunday School Quarterly

In the minds of many, love is simply an emotion, or a feeling that cannot be forced. Perhaps it is an emotion that can come and go (e.g., "I don't love you anymore...") Yet we are commanded to love, and not just in the sense of active good will. But also in the sense of affection, and friendship. For the Christian, it is common to distinguish between two different Greek words for love:

a. Agape (active good will), as that which is commanded;
b. Phileo (fondness, friendship), as that which cannot be forced.

However, the distinction between the two is not always clear cut. For example, agape can also be defined as "brotherly love, affection" - Thayer, Strong. And Phileo is often commanded in the Scriptures! Perhaps a review of how we are commanded to love is in order. In addition, how we can be taught to develop an emotional love towards another person?

Let's begin today's discussion by examining the command to love. As mentioned above, we are commanded to love! In reference to God and Jesus, we are commanded to love (agape) God with our heart (Mark 12:30). And, we are commanded to love (phileo) Jesus, more than family (1 Corinthians 16:22; Matthew 10:37).

Referring to our community, we are commanded to love (agape) our neighbor (Mark 12:31). Also, we are commanded to love (agape) our enemies (Matthew 5:44). When speaking of those in our families: husbands are to love (agape) their wives (which includes to cherish) Ephesians 5:25,28-29; wives are to love their husbands (philandros, to love as a friend) Titus 2:4; and mothers are to love their children (philoteknos, to be fond of one's children) Titus 2:4.

And alluding to those in the church, we are to love (agape) one another as Christ loved us (John 13:34). We are also to be kindly affectionate (philostorgos, love of family) to one another with brotherly love (philadelphia, fraternal affection) Romans 12:10).

It should be evident that the command to love often requires displaying a true, heartfelt, affection towards another (e.g., Jesus, spouses, children, brethren in Christ). If commanded, then it must be something we can develop where lacking. By the grace of God, we can be taught how to love!

So how are we taught to love? Well, we can be taught by God! Especially concerning brotherly love (philadelphia), or to love one another (agape) 1 Thessalonians 4:9. God also taught us by how He sent His Son (1 John 4:9-10) Jesus. And how He was willing to die for us (1 John 3:16). Jesus also exemplified this by how He loved (agape and phileo) His disciples (John 11:3,5) Lazarus, Mary, Martha; in John 13:1,34 (the disciples); and in John 13:23; 20:2 (John)

We are taught to love by Paul, who taught Christians how to walk in love (Ephesians 5:1-2; and taught husbands how to love their wives (Ephesians 5:25-33); and who practiced brotherly love (agapetos, beloved, dear) - cf. Philippians 4:1.

Then there is Peter, who taught us to love one another (phileo and agape) fervently (1 Peter 1:22; 4:8); taught us to love (agape) the brotherhood, as brethren(philadelphos) 1 Peter 2:17; 3:8; and who practiced brotherly love (agapetos, beloved, dear) - cf. 2 Peter 3:15.

We can even be taught how to love by other Christians. How? For instance: older women should be capable of teaching the younger women (Titus 2:3-4); and even young Christians can set an example of how to love (1 Timothy 4:12; 2 Thessalonians 1:3).

Additionally, there are a couple of ways that we (You and I) can develop heartfelt affection. First, phileo love can be enhanced by adding agape love to it - cf. 2 Peter 1:7, and if we display active good will (agape), and heartfelt affection (phileo) will follow - cf. 1 Thessalonians 4:9.

Ultimately, we cannot excuse the lack of heartfelt love toward Jesus, our brethren, or our families by making a distinction between agape and phileo. For both kinds of love are commanded, and the two often overlap. Where we lack a heartfelt love toward Jesus, our brethren, our family members, we need to acknowledge the deficiency (as a sign of spiritual immaturity). And as such, we need to be willing to relearn love (whether it be agape or phileo).

When we need to learn love others with a heartfelt love, look to the examples of the Father, Jesus, the apostles, and other Christians. Take the initiative to practice agape love, and phileo love will develop naturally!

Prayer:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres."
-1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Have a blessed day,

Brooke