Grief Is NOT An Illness!

Grief following the death of a loved one isn’t a mental illness that requires psychiatrists and antidepressants, according to editors of The Lancet, who oppose “medicalizing” an often-healing response to overwhelming loss.

Routinely legitimizing the treatment of grief with antidepressants “is not only dangerously simplistic, but also flawed,” says the unsigned lead editorial appearing in Friday’s edition of the influential international medical journal. “Grief is not an illness; it is more usefully thought of as part of being human and a normal response to the death of a loved one.”

In rare cases, a bereaved person will develop prolonged grief or major depression that may merit medical treatment “or sometimes more effective psychological interventions such as guided mourning may be needed,” they wrote. However, they suggested that for the majority of the bereaved, “doctors would do better to offer time, compassion, remembrance and empathy, than pills.” -Matzav.com Newscenter, February 17, 2012

The loss of loved one is a difficult burden to bear. Only those who die young and before others escape this burden. All others will bear this burden at some point in their life.

The Lord certainly knows our grief. He wept when as He saw those weeping over the loss of a loved one (John 11:33-35). He sought to prepare His own disciples for when they would lose Him (John 14:1-3).

Without a doubt, God can be a wonderful source of comfort both in the here and now (cf. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5), and in the hereafter (cf. Revelation 21:4). In the death of my mother. I found God to be the God of all comfort. In fact, I found that He provided many avenues of comfort.

As I reflected on my mother's passing, I found myself thankful for His many comforts. Perhaps you might find my thoughts helpful should you find yourself losing a loved one.

Let's define some of these sources of comfort...

a) HOPE IN CHRIST - As Christians, we grieve, but not as those with no hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13). In Christ, we have the hope of resurrection and reunion (1 Thessalonians 4:14-17). This hope is a wonderful source of comfort (1 Thessalonians 4:18). I was comforted to have a mother who died in Christ.
b) PRECIOUS MEMORIES - Memories can be a source of comfort (e.g., Phillipians 1:3), especially when they involve one's faithful service to Christ (Philippians 1:4-5). Such memories add to the confidence of our hope (Philippians 1:6). I was comforted to have a mother who was a faithful Christian.
c) LOVE OF FAMILY, BRETHREN, FRIENDS, ETC. - One way that God comforts us is through other people who, in turn, comfort us with comfort they have received from God (2 Corinthians 1:4). In times of loss and suffering, it often brings out the best in people. I was comforted by many expressions of love and kindness from others.
d) THE WORD OF GOD - The Word of God is a source of peace and strength (Psalm 119:165; 1:1-3). If such was true of the Law, how much more the words of Jesus and His apostles! I was comforted by God's words of peace, love and hope.
e) PRAYER - Prayer is also a source of peace and strength (Philippians 4:6-7). It is an avenue in which to find grace and help in time of need (Hebrews 4:14-16). Many people wrote to tell me that I was in their prayers. I was comforted by both personal and public prayers, offered by so many.
f) SONGS - Like the songs of joy, faith, and hope that were sung at the funeral. With hymns, psalms, and spiritual songs, singing both praises God and edifies one another (Ephesians 5:19; Col 3:16). I was comforted (and moved most, providing an outlet for my grief) by songs of hope and faith that we have in Christ.

With so many sources of comfort, I found the loss of my mother to be a reminder of how richly blessed I am, and how kind God has been to me. Yet I am aware that not all enjoy such blessings during the time of their loss. Which leads me to say a few words about how these sources of comfort are developed. They are as follows:

a) HOPE IN CHRIST - Our wonderful hope is for those who are faithful to Christ till death (Revelation 2:10). If we desire to have this hope, and to leave it as a legacy for those left behind, we must be faithful servants of Christ. Do not wait until it is too late; you will only add to the grief of your loved ones!
b) PRECIOUS MEMORIES - Now is the time to be making memories, especially memories of your faithful service to God, your kindness to others, etc. What kind of memories have you been creating lately?
c) LOVE OF FAMILY, BRETHREN, FRIENDS. Loving relationships take time to develop. Don't think only of family, you might outlive all of yours; remember brethren and friends. What kind of relationships with people are you developing now?
d) THE WORD OF GOD - It also takes time to become familiar with the Word of God; to learn where to turn to find comfort, peace, and strength. Are you familiarizing yourself with the Bible so it can help you in your grief?
e) PRAYER - Prayer is of value only if we are right relationship with God (1 Peter 3:12). Prayer is comforting only if we are already close to God. Are you drawing closer to God by frequently talking to Him in prayer?
f) SONGS - Like the Word of God, songs comfort us when they are familiar to us; when we've had time to reflect, to understand what we are singing about. Do you sing spiritual songs enough to find comfort in them now?

In conclusion, the death of a loved one has been made easier to bear because of God's grace. Remember, Jesus died to deliver us from the fear of death (Hebrews 2:14-15). The death of a righteous person is precious in God's sight (Psalm 116:15). The loved one has finally gone home; if we remain faithful, the separation will be temporary.

The blessings that God affords His children in time of death are so many, but they must be received and acted upon. We must act now to benefit from them in the future!

Are you preparing for the reality of death? Are you doing things today that will make the "death-day" of your loved ones (and your own) easier to bear, even a cause for celebration...?

Prayer:

We give them back to you, O God, those whom you gave to us. You did not lose them when you gave them to us – and we do not lose them by their return to you.
Your dear Son has taught us that life is eternal and that love cannot die, so death is only a horizon – and a horizon is only the limit of our sight.
Open our eyes to see more clearly and draw us close to you – that we may know that we are nearer to our loved ones – who are with you.
You have told us that you are preparing a place for us. Prepare us, that where you are we may be – always. Amen

Have a blessed day!

Sharon