Saturday Scripture Gold with Bibi: What Do You Do When the Hurt Has Piled Up?

"I am spellbound by the intensity of Jesus' emotions: Not a twinge of pity, but heartbroken compassion; not a passing irritation, but terrifying anger; not a silent tear, but groans of anguish; not a weak smile, but ecstatic celebration. Jesus' emotions are like a mountain river cascading with clear water. My emotions are more like a muddy foam or a feeble trickle."
-G. Walter Hansenin, Christianity Today

This week, we are going to discuss how to deal with our damaged emotions. Let's be honest. We all need our souls restored from time to time. We get hurt not just physically but also emotionally and spiritually. Life is tough. We get beat up. We get discouraged, depressed and disappointed. We have failure, fatigue, frustration and fears. We all have hidden hurts from our past. We carry wounds, battle scars and emotional garbage. But there is good news. God wants to restore our souls!

How does He do this? He does this by making three changes in your life: First, He removes your guilt. Second,  He relieves your grief. Third, He replaces your grudges.

For starters, how do I let God remove my guilt? We all have plenty of reasons for guilt. Correct? We can’t get away from it. So, how do we deal with guilt? Well, there are lots of options:

- We can deny it. We can try to pretend that it doesn't exist. We can try to bury it – but that doesn't work. It’s still alive. Denying guilt doesn't deal with it.

- We can minimize it. We can say, “It’s no big deal.” But we know that it is. If it was no big deal why do we still remember it? Why can’t we forget it? Why can’t we move beyond it? Minimizing it doesn't work.

- We can rationalize it. We say, “Everybody does it.” But we know that is not true; everybody doesn't do it. Even if they did – that doesn't make it right. When I try to rationalize it – I am trying to put my head over my heart – but the heart always wins out. “Rationalize” means “rational – lies.”

The most common thing we do with guilt is that we beat ourselves up with it. We administer self-punishment. We don’t see ourselves as God sees us. We feel less then human – less then God values us. We see ourselves with little importance or worth. We tell ourselves, “I don’t deserve to succeed.” We live in our guilt.

None of these work. Seriously, nothing destroys a soul faster then guilt. There is only one solution to guilt. You have to give it to God.

Next, how do I let God relieve my grief? Sometimes we suffer not because of what we have done but because of what others have done to us. Sometimes we suffer when we see other people suffer. This is not heaven; this is earth and people hurt. Sometimes we feel lonely. Sometimes our heart is broken. Sometimes we experience sorrow, loss and grief. We have all experienced these things at one time, or another.

Do you remember that Bathsheba became pregnant? She had a baby boy and when it was born it was very sick. David grieved over what he had done. He fasted and prayed. He said, “God the baby has done nothing wrong. I’m the one who messed up. I’m the one who made the mistake. Save the baby. He has done nothing wrong.” The baby died anyway. (2 Samuel 12:22-23)

What did David do with his grief after the baby died? He did three things: a) He accepted what he could not change; b) he focused on what was left not what was lost; c) he turned to God. When we grieve we can remain a prisoner of our pain or we can turn it over to God. That’s our choice.

Lastly, how do I let God replace my grudges? Grudges come when we hold on to hurts that other people have caused us. We get mad at them and we won’t let that anger go. The people may not have even planned to intentionally hurt us. But we got hurt just the same. So we develop a grudge and won’t let it go.

I feel guilt when I have hurt people, I feel grief when I have suffered lose, but I hold on to grudges when someone has caused me pain. Guess what? In this world you are going to be hurt. Life isn’t fair. You are going to suffer pain. You are going to get bumped, bruised, scratched, scraped and dinged up in this world. How you handle it will either make you "bitter" or "better." The difference between the two is “I”.

What do you do when the hurt has piled up? What do you do with all the emotional garbage? You can become angry with the people who have hurt you – you can hold a grudge. Romans 12:19 instructs us not to hold a grudge – don’t take vengeance into your own hands – that’s God job – not yours – He will eventually make everything right. That’s His job. He is the judge of the world – your not!

Get rid of all your bitterness. Stop holding grudges. Doesn't the scripture say, "Forgive as you have been forgiven." How have you been forgiven? Completely, totally, absolutely. If you have been forgiven; God expects you to forgive. So let go, and let God.

My dear friends, you don’t need a self-help book to deal with your guilt, your grief or your grudges. You need a Shepherd. You need a Savior. He is ready to help you deal with your damaged emotions. All you have to do is ask him. 

Scripture: Psalms 23:3;  Psalms 38:4-5; 1 John 1:9; Psalms 51:11-12; Job 5:2; Romans 12:19; Matthew 6:12

Now, let's pray...

O Father, give us the humility which realizes its ignorance, admits its mistakes, recognizes its need, welcomes advice, accepts rebuke. Help us always to praise rather than to criticize, to sympathize rather than to discourage, to build rather than to destroy, and to think of people at their best rather than at their worst. This we ask for in thy name's sake. Amen

Until next time...

Have a blessed week!

Bibi