Beware, The People-Pleasers!

"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." - Galatians 1:10

Ah, yes! The people-pleaser. You might be more familiar with them by another name, such as: charmer, sweet-talker, flatterer, or yes-man. No matter, they have the need to please others, or the need to be well-liked, among other reasons.

Perhaps you might even be one yourself! One of the traits of a people-pleaser is the tendency to change their behavior and/or attitude to blend with that of a group, or even another person. You can probably guess where this eventually leads.

Such an individual will then act in a manner that might go totally against their normal character, or participate in endeavors that they don't necessarily believe in, or agree with, but do them anyway just to fit in, or be part of the crowd.

People-pleasers have acquired a taste for being liked by others. Therefore, they direct their words and actions towards whatever will garner the most approval. Outwardly, they may appear to be unselfish, caring, and charitable.

But hidden underneath, lies an insecure personality; believing falsely that approval is the equivalent of value. Eventually, they realize the folly, or foolishness, of trying to please others is not only impossible, but truly exhausting.

Now, let's do a little comparison between the "people-pleaser" and the Lord Jesus Christ. It is safe to say that His actions were genuinely selfless; the key ingredient with Jesus being "motive." Christ literally lived to glorify and please his Father (John 8:29).

Some other qualities of importance were his love, generosity, and service to others. Even so, Jesus was no push-over. He was not afraid to speak his mind, even if this meant that his words might, and often did, anger the crowd.

Jesus was not above publicly rebuking, or calling out people for their hypocrisy and lack of faith (Matthew 23:15). He didn't fret about how his words were received by his listeners. Jesus spoke his mind, even when it prompted his death (Mark 15:1-2; John 18:37).

Clearly, Jesus was the antithesis, or exact opposite, of the "people-pleaser." So, if you find that you are one of those who habitually try to please people, here are some things to help alter this pattern of behavior:

• Acknowledge that "people-pleasing" is a sin. When our primary goal is to gain popularity, we have swapped gods. Now we're looking at idolatry. By allowing anything to control us besides the Holy Spirit, we have raised a shrine to a conflicting god (Galatians 5:16, 25).

• Once, we have acknowledged these tendencies, and have repented of them, we need to replace them with some that are positive and motivational. Our primary motive should always be to glorify God (1 Corinthians 10:31). Seeking praise from imperfect man, rather than pursuing God's approval, is not recommended (John 12:43).

• Additionally, it's a good idea to protect our hearts against the classic sin of "covetousness" (Mark 7:22). Nothing fans the flames of desire for the approval or popularity of others more than when we "covet" it. This, unfortunately, is more common than not.

People-pleasing does a pretty good job of keeping us from being all we can be for God. It stills our voices when we should speak up, and intimidates us when we do. This is definitely not what God meant for us!

Matthew 6:24 tells us that we cannot serve two masters. In this case, trying to devote ourselves fully to Christ, and to the approval of others, will not work. What's more, it's not our job to make people happy, but rather to please the Lord.

Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 2:4; Ephesians 6:6; Ephesians 6:7; John 5:44; Proverbs 16:7

Prayer: "Blessed are those whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the Lord. Blessed are those who keep his statutes and seek him with all their heart— they do no wrong but follow his ways."  -Psalm 119:1-3

Grace to all,

Marsha