Are You Ready... to Forgive?

A husband and wife didn't really love each other. The man was very demanding, so much so that he prepared a list of rules and regulations for his wife to follow. He insisted that she read them over every day and obey them to the letter. Among other things, his "do's and don'ts" indicated such details as what time she had to get up in the morning, when his breakfast should be served, and how the housework should be done. After several long years, the husband died.

As time passed, the woman fell in love with another man, one who dearly loved her. Soon they were married. This husband did everything he could to make his new wife happy, continually showering her with tokens of his appreciation. One day as he was cleaning house, she found tucked away in a drawer the list of commands her first husband had drawn up for her. As she looked it over, it dawned on her that even though her present husband hadn't given her any kind of list, she was doing everything her first husband's list required anyway. She realized she was so devoted to this man that her deepest desire was to please him out of love, not obligation.   -Unknown

Since we’re imperfect people, we’re bound to have trouble with forgiveness. I’m convinced that relationships are built not on a standard of perfection, but on our ability to ask for forgiveness, and upon our willingness to extend forgiveness. In other words, grace must impact both our friendships and our forgiveness.

If you and I want to have relationships that last for the long haul, then we must be willing to extend forgiveness to others. Here’s another way to say it:  In every relationship you have, you will constantly be called on to forgive and to ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness is costly -- it’s not easy to ask for forgiveness; and it’s certainly not easy to extend forgiveness to those who've  wronged us. Proverbs 18:19 says that, “An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel.”

Forgiveness is the virtue we most enjoy and least employ. There are at least two reasons why we struggle with forgiveness:  Forgiveness is not natural. That’s why it’s so hard to do. Forgiveness is not fair. Our sense of justice wants to be vindicated.

Of all the people in the Bible, Peter stands out as the most mathematical of the disciples. He was a stickler for detail, always trying to pin down the precise meaning of everything Jesus said. Do you remember when Jesus engineered a miraculous catch of fish? It was Peter who sat down and counted each squirming one to find out that they caught 153. If you were to take your Bible and count the number of times that Peter messed up, you’d discover that he needed forgiveness on at least 7 different occasions.

Being a numbers-guy, one day Peter came up to Jesus and asked him a question in Matthew 18:21, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? I find his question a bit amusing. Here’s Peter, the one who needed personal forgiveness on at least 7 different occasions himself, being concerned with how many times he had to forgive someone else. He was trying to discover a mathematical formula for grace.

To be honest, forgiving someone seven times is commendable. Most of us get frustrated if we have to forgive someone twice. By human standards, what Peter said was admirable and perhaps even extravagant. But Peter wanted a number, a limit, a place where he could finally say, “That’s it -- you’re not getting away with this any longer. Our friendship is now over.”

As Jesus often does, his answer to Peter was unexpected and disarming. Take a look at verse 22: “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven times.” The crash you hear is Peter hitting the ground in a dead faint. He couldn't believe his ears! Seventy times seven? 

Jesus isn't suggesting that we count the number of times we forgive someone. Seventy times seven means there is no limit to the number of times we are to forgive someone. He is talking about continual and unlimited forgiveness. The point Jesus is making here is this -- you don’t keep score when it comes to forgiveness. Like grace, forgiveness has about it a maddening quality because it is undeserved, unmerited, and unfair.

Where are you today? Do you need to ask someone for forgiveness? Have you wronged a friend or family member? If so, determine to face your friend, own the wrong, and ask for release.

Do you need to give someone the gift of forgiveness? Are you tired of living with the venom of an unforgiving spirit? Are your grudges structuring your total outlook on life? If so, cancel that debt today. Restore that friendship by being a grace-giver.

Do you need Divine forgiveness? Have you ever come face to face with God, owned your sin, and then asked Him for release? You need to do it if you haven't already done so -- forgiveness is our deepest need and God’s highest achievement. Once you experience God’s forgiveness, you’ll be better equipped to forgive others.

C.S. Lewis once said, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” How about you? Are you ready to forgive, or ask for forgiveness?

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 12:9: Ephesians 2:8-9; Romans 6:14; James 4:6;  Romans 5:8; John 1:16; Romans 3:24

Prayer: Dear Father, Please forgive me for all I have done not only to others but to myself. Please grant me the wisdom to understand what I have done wrong and how I can make it right. Amen

Have a blessed day!

Courtney