Don't Be Bound By Rejection!

Louis McBurney, in an article for Leadership Journal, said there are four reasons people reject accountability. 1) I fear rejection, 2) I feel embarrassed, 3) I resent control by hostile people, and 4) I don’t like facing my negative feelings.

Rejection is the worst pain the human spirit can suffer. Rejection is at the root of many emotional problems and many health issues. When we are rejected by others, we can also reject ourselves. So, how can rejection come in? Let's take a look at just a couple of examples that come to mind.

In marriage, rejection may come later in life. Sometimes after we marry. A Woman wants prince charming, but the husband didn't treat her how she expected. Rejection! With children. Children in this generation have a lot of competition for time with their parents. People live busy lives and busy has become equated to successful. People fill their schedules with things to do whether they are a priority in their lives or not. Children are learning that love is having things because they see parents investing their lives in work to get material possessions. Rejection! 

You could say that rejection is a rejection spirit. And a rejection spirit is a lying spirit. Perhaps a lying spirit brought to our mindset some lies from the devil and told us, that we are not wanted, not loved, not appreciated, not good enough. This may start in childhood. This mind-set makes us strive to earn our acceptance. It makes people feel driven to perform in order to be approved. This mind-set makes people feel they are loved for what they do rather than for who they are. It is demeaning. It robs people of peace.

The sad thing is that no amount of achievement is ever enough to satisfy it. The devil inflames insecurities and fears. This demon seeks to undermine the Christian‚s true standing before God as a saved, cleansed, redeemed child of God. He does this by lying and attempting to deceive the believer regarding God's love, the atoning work of the cross, and our righteousness before God.

This lying spirit comes between family members and divides brothers and sisters and makes them feel isolated. The spirit of rejection pours gasoline on the fires of racial hatred. This demon is very successful in splitting up marriages, churches, and partnerships. These are vital relationships which the Holy Spirit wants to establish between friends. These relationships are necessary in the Body of Christ in order for God's work to be done. Disunity, like divorce, often has this lying spirit as its agent provocateur.

How can one recover from rejection? God understands rejection and knows how to remedy its pain. Christ was rejected when He came to His own people and they would not receive Him. "He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him." (John 1:11). He endured rejection when He bore our sins. "He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not." (Isaiah 53:3).

God understands your feelings. Therefore, He can be touched with your pain and is ready to heal you. "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-- yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Hebrews 4:15-16).

Here's how to diagnose if you suffer from the spirit of rejection. Three areas to examine are circumstances, emotions, and thoughts. Let's start with your circumstances. Did you have an alcoholic parent? Were your parents divorced? Were you abused? Have you been abandoned or betrayed in marriage? Have you suffered from discrimination? Have you had to break away from a controlling relationship? Have you been repeatedly de-valued as a person? If you fit any of these categories, then you could be a victim of the rejection syndrome.

Now let's consider your emotional hot-buttons. Do you have great difficulty receiving correction? Do you take it personally and get offended? Do you resent all authority? Do you get angry for no apparent reason? Or, Do you have an unnatural need for everyone to like you? Does the need for approval control your decisions? Does insecurity sweep over you? Are you plagued by chronic self-doubt? Do you wrestle with chronic bouts of loneliness? At times, do you despair of life, or are you tempted to take your own life? If so, then you probably battle rejection.

In addition to these diagnostic questions, ask yourself this about your thought life. What kind of thoughts run through your mind when you are with a group of people? Would you characterize these thoughts as mostly negative or positive? The spirit of rejection inserts these kinds of thoughts: "These people don't love me." "They won't talk to me." I'm not worthy to be here." "I know they are judging me." "They don't really want me here." This is mental torment that typifies the spirit of rejection.

However, all is not lost! There are some things that you can do to kindle inner healing and deliverance. Try some of these ideas:

1. Take it to God in prayer

2. Realize this, rejection often carries with it unforgiveness toward those who have offended you
In this case, your forgiveness must be explicit, by name, and it must be spoken aloud even if it is only to God, and even if it is for someone who is now dead. Repent of all bitterness and hatred.
3. Take all negative thoughts captive. Don't let them rule over your mind. Replace them with words and images of faith that come from your heavenly Father. Take God's thoughts, God's attitude, God's will as your creed, not the words of this sinful world.
4. Repeat what the Scriptures say until they replace the lies you've heard. Soak in God's word and let it renew your mind. Meditate on the Scriptures until faith, hope, and self-acceptance fills your personality.

Of  course, all of this takes time but it is something you can do for yourself. Replace Satan's lies with God's word. Tell yourself the truth until you truly believe it. Banish all self-doubts. Soak your thoughts in the truth of who God is, what He has done for you, and who you are in Christ.

Scripture: 1 Peter 2:4; 2 Corinthians 12:9; Psalm 139:13-14; John 1:11; 1 Peter 5:7; Philippians 4:19; Romans 8:31

Prayer:  “In the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I have died to my sins. I am a new creation; old things have passed away. Because of my death with Jesus and the fact that He bore my curses with Himself on the cross, I hereby cancel the curse of rejection. I break its hold in my life, and I expose the deception of Satan wherein he has lied to me, saying that I was rejected by God and man. I am accepted into the family of God. Jesus bore my rejection by God and man on the cross. He has freed me from the curse of sin and rejection. Thank You, God, for my freedom.” In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen

God bless you!

Kate